Kumon’s gift, the gift of persistence!
As parents, we teach our children a great deal more than we often give ourselves credit for and many of the lessons learned at home are lessons that children learn for life. Take persistence -- in my opinion, this skill is best taught in the home and from what I have seen in my observation of some successful Kumon families, the Kumon method can be an excellent tool to do just that.
Yet the study of “What makes some individuals persist despite the difficulty or drudgery of the task, while others quit or easily give up?” is something of a science in itself. It’s a simple question, but the answer is terribly complex. Some psychologists believe that here is a center in the brain, which determines one’s motivation to succeed. Some think that persistence is related to an external reward system. And still others believe that perseverance occurs because of an intrinsic reward system. This means that we do something for the pure joy of doing it or of reaching our goal.
In order to achieve a goal, most individuals naturally break their goal down into a series of small steps. Generally speaking, if we fail at one of these steps, but try again and succeed, we will move on to the next. Provided that no one individual step is insurmountable, we will complete the task and reach our goal. However, if we quit or stop trying after failing at a step along the way, we will fail at the entire task and never reach our goal.
Our children’s past experiences of success and failure also help form their attitude toward achievement. By the time children are 8-12 years old, they already have developed a self-perception as an achiever or a non-achiever. Children who are motivated to succeed usually set moderately difficult goals, which are reachable. Those who strive to avoid failure set goals that either are trivial or impossible to reach. The child who is fearful of success sets no goals. This success avoider often is fearful that becoming successful will lead to greater expectations that he or she will not be able to meet. Parents and educators need to recognize when the child’s goals are set either too high or too low, and then they need to encourage the student to shift to more appropriate tasks. Parents and educators need to be aware of the goals our children set and assist them in recognizing the steps they need to take to achieve them. We need to support our children as they proceed along the path toward success. We need to be sensitive to the fact that whether a failure is big or small, it produces negative feelings such as anxiety, sadness, or anger. Although, in moderation, these feelings can be stimulating, these same feelings also can be discouraging. But in order for a child to be successful and to feel mastery, it often is necessary for the child to try, fail, and try again before success is met. In this model, failure on a particular step and feeling bad about it are seen as necessary building blocks to overall success and long lasting good feelings.
Kumon children and parents alike learn persistence by being required to persevere. By interspersing easy work with challenging material, students are trained to achieve through repetition and mastery. What better way to succeed, to avoid the pitfalls of giving up and failing, than to practice persistence on a daily basis. Kumon offers parents a great opportunity to train their children and to give them the gift of perseverance.
by Andrea Pastorok, Ph.D. Educational Psychologist / School Consultant
